Singing Like a Little Girl

I'm just listening to my album tracks now, trying to work out an order. Normally I don't even have to think about putting together a set list. It's like putting a simple puzzle together, I just snap the songs into place ... begin with this one, end with that one, certain songs lead nicely into other ones, and soon the list is done. But tonight I haven't got any sense of clear instinct. I've just been trying putting different songs against one another, seeing if they fit together, listening to ends and beginnings of songs. I suppose this will get the job done, eventually. It's just a rather slow way to go about it, since I've got 66 minutes worth of music on the album!!!

Yep, you heard me right. Sixty-six minutes.

I've just listened to Ahava's Song, which at the moment, I'm thinking will be the second song on the album. Four years ago, when I got back from Calgary with the tracks mostly finished, I emailed Jane Siberry the song, and asked her what she thought. And here's what she said:

"I like your face, your name, the letter you wrote to me. But, I don't respond to a certain 'little girlness' that I hear so often. A coyness, preciousness. I have had it myself and it was part of learning about myself. Behind it all, I hear a clearer voice that isn't hiding, that isn't smiling so much, that has a lot to say and not much time. I would find that deeper part of you a joy to hear."

I wasn't sure what she meant then, and four years on, I still don't know. Listening to the songs again now, I just hear my voice ... it just sounds like me ... just expressing what I'm thinking ... things I've written. A 'little girliness' ... hmmm.

But I like her idea of "a clearer voice that isn't hiding, that isn't smiling so much, that has a lot to say and not much time". A beautiful idea.

I do often smile when I sing. But I often smile when I'm communicating ... because things often seem funny to me. Including things that I write. Like in my song "Away From Me" which begins "When you're away from me ........... you're never with me!" Even when I'm serious, a part of me is often joking. It's just the way I am. That's the smiling bit. And as for 'little girliness', I've been cursed or blessed with often sounding/looking like a little girl, completely unintentionally. Partly it's because I'm not very tall. But partly, it's just genetics, I think?! I wonder if Jane is talking about something about how I look/sound which is unintentional and largely unalterable??

Anyway, if you have any idea what the lovely Jane Siberry was referring to, please let me know!! Perhaps I just need to learn more about myself ...